Last weekend I visited Helsinki with Ed and caught up with Matt and Fiona, as well as meeting Chris Heathcoate. Although I didn’t actually see anything too strange I know there is a deep dark heart of weirdness there in Finland. It must be somewhere deep in the woods or in the lakes because it ain’t in the city.
However I did see performing cats on the streets.
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One thing we did notice was that all the Finns are forest creatures. They’re all either little pixies or harmless woodland mammals; anyone big and blond must be Swedish. Otherwise the Finns themselves are cute and cuddly but also a little bit frightened looking, If you try to talk to them they look like rabbits stuck in headlights. I think all the Finns in Helsinki must be going through some kind of deep racial memory thing about disappearing into the woods and living in fairy mounds or badger holes… you say hi to someone and they get this look in their eye like they’ll bolt for the nearest tree, but in a real cute way.
And they all have incredibly inbred little dogs.
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This woman has a small bear as a pet. Possibly the result of a genetic experiment in some secret lab up beyond the Arctic Circle. It’s disguised as a dog for legal reasons.
