‘Tentacled Monstrosity’
‘Vacuous Nothingness’
A lapping silence briefly replaced the cacophony in the narrow straight. Water continued to rush past, the two enormous monsters as they sulked on either side of their canyon.
‘I’m the eldest and my father put me here first so you should be doing what I tell you.’ the huge writhing tentacled mass boomed from one side of the gorge.
‘But I’m his favourite, he likes me more. Because I’m made from water. He told me so.’ The enormous whirlpool gurgled from the other side.
‘You don’t look like him though, do you?’
‘Well neither do you!’ The screaming and sucking continued for a while. ‘That shut you up didn’t it?’
‘I wouldn’t even deign to reply to some one as greedy and fat as you.’ The tentacles that had been pointing snootily in the air suddenly swung to point accusingly at the whirlpool opposite.
‘Oh is this what it’s about. Again with the “You’ve eaten all the sailors routine.”‘
‘But you do. You suck them down and all I get are those horrid wooden boats to eat’
If it could have the whirlpool would have rolled it’s eyes. ‘Always the same with you “You eat all the men, I only get the ships.” If you weren’t such a clutz you could eat the whole package, boats, men, women and animals, the lot.’
‘I am not clumsy, I just have problems remembering where my tentacles are.’
‘You don’t seem to have any problems when rending those boats. You seem to know where they are then.’
‘That’s because I’m hungry and I have to fight you for the food.’
‘Messy eater. It’s always the same You’re flinging men off decks and smashing masts in you rush to eat them’
The tentacles pouted sullenly. ‘At least I’m not big and fat’
‘Fat! Fat! I’m not fat!’ the whirlpool exploded spitting flotsam. The tentacles preened and rubbed their sleek lengths together while the whirlpool foamed.
‘I’m not fat. I just had a classical figure’ The whirlpool protested. ‘ And besides I’m retaining water right now.’
‘You’re a chubby little monster because you eat all those fatty hoplites and leave me with those low calorie boats.’
‘Shut up you clumsy writhing mess’
‘Shush yourself bloated vortex’
‘Messy eater’
‘Greedy hole’
‘Tentacled monstrosity’
‘Vacuous nothingness’
